I am glad for some people in my life. That way i've been very lucky you know. Life has given me very few but extremely genuine friends. I can count them and their brothers twice over on my fingers, but I know they'll linger around longer than a 10,000 million lightyears put together. When college was over and done with and all of us had to walk our own paths I never thought we'd stick it out. But four years, two break-ups, a marriage, a kid, rebound love, a broken engagement, committed fancy-free love, another marriage, a confused relationship, another confused relationship later, we're still together in it. Whats brilliant about old friends is that they let new ones in. Whats great about new ones is that they turn out to be worthy of being old ones. I am really glad I met sush and Appu at work and by God I know they will always be a part of my life, and I, a part of theirs.
T'was a rough day today post lunch with the bad news about Lucky. I still havent been able to accept it. It stings my heart- just like the ray fish stung Steve's heart this morning. I can almost feel the blood trickle out of my heart and puddle at my feet. And my head becomes a marshland for eerie thoughts - the more I try to get them out of there, the deeper they sink. But they dont sink and die- instead they breed in the deep dark slimy waters, multiply into a million eerie thoughts and when theres a slight gurgling within the depths of the marshes, they rise- piercing through the muck- like a dagger through the heart. Wet, slimy, stinging and fatal.
...what am I saying? ! what am I thinking? Its not making any sense to me. Its all so warped and twisted. Maybe I should wait this phase out. You know, not write about it...just live through it for the next few days and come back when I am feeling better... Maybe then it wont feel so bad.
Monday September 4, 2006
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